she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
