yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
