i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She announced her abortion via fbk
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
