you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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