She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
