Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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