Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
