Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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