the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
