i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
