i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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