I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
