Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
