omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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