hotel room ftw
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
