Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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