ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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