even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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