If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
