How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wish you could order shots online.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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