Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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