I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
