dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
