"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
