I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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