I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
