Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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