are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
