The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
