Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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