Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
