don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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