I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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