2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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