I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
