i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
