bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
