Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
