no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
