omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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