I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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