I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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