He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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