you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
