ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just gift wrapped bread.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
