some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
