Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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