Its about making memories worth repressing
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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