My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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