You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
